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October 12, 2005

I'll cry if I want to

I am so looking forward to this weekend cuz it's kinda a cruel joke to have your birthday be on a wednesday. Actually Monday is probably worse. I'm 29 today, and that doesn't bother so much except my kids have been especially difficult today. I can't complain, they are ridiculously healthy, and they're cute. But man, Eden has her solid food constpation which ended before her nap thank God, but not without a glycerin suppository. Happy Birthday to me! Josiah is battling naps again the past couple days, and this is a week a need him to sleep.

The best birthday present (besides the sweet cards and emails) is the fact my late class tonight has been cancelled so I get to come home at 6:30 instead of 9:30. I have had to deal with too mant tantrums the past two days. And disciplining has been exhausting. I gave Josiah a much needed haircut today and the world practically collapsed as he screamed and writhed from fright from everthing from the squirt bottle to the clippers and the scissors. I finally gave him a lollipop and he settled down. I was praying the whole time that Jesus would calm him down, because I wasn't going to stop cutting or take him somewhere where he would scream in public for a hair stylist. Praise God, it ended before Sesame Street did. Josiah's bed fell apart as we got in it to read books before naptime and I lost it. On the ground sobbing with Josiah patting my back going "It's Ok Mama" and "Can I give a hug?" What a hilarious form of solice that is. It was repairable and I prayed to Jesus again to calm me down and give me just a little more strength to put it back together. Nobody was hurt, and I know now what happened. It's also yucky when your elderly in-law sends you an unnecessary letter to scold you for things that are none of his business. Joel justs lets it go. It makes me boil. I'm 29! I'm responsible! I don't need scolding! I want so much to unleash my wrath (again) but instead I bow to my husband's wisdom and eat it up.

So Happy Birthday to me! I will have a fun birthday celebration as I show my art work at Festival 34/84 this weekend with my best bud at my side to share giggles and secrets with. I'm not pregnant this year, so the open bar at the Festival's award reception will be enjoyed. Not too much *smile*. I have some real winners this year, I hope, with the Pods and some watercolor pod doodles ta boot.

I can't bring myself to sell the Brown Cows yet. They are too happy on my wall. I also don't have the funds to frame them the way I would like. I'll wait a little longer before I can't detach myself from all that hard work.

All these ventures are very expensive. I have a hard time spending the money. But I just remind myself that if I didn't I would not reap the joys and the rewards of letting go of the financial security blanket and just doing it. I really really believe that this is what God wants me to do. Now if I only had the faith to step it up even more and make spiritual steps with these opportunities. I can't feel guilty, guilt does not help.

I love my birthday. The weather is always perfect on my birthday. It's the time of year everyone is waiting for and people celebrate my birthday without knowing it by loving the weather that October 12th brings. I have much to be grateful for. Because I have a loverly family. I am healthy and strong. I am persuing one of my greatest joys with unleashed fervor. Thanks to all who will make this mama's birthday special.

mommy time | By | 4:06 PM

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Comments

Posted by: happy belated birthday!!! at October 13, 2005 12:26 PM

Posted by: amyk at October 12, 2005 9:24 PM

Posted by: Laurie at October 12, 2005 5:58 PM

Posted by: lynnp at October 12, 2005 5:45 PM

Posted by: jlg at October 12, 2005 4:35 PM

Posted by: jlg at October 12, 2005 4:34 PM

Posted by: jlg at October 12, 2005 4:34 PM

Email "I'll cry if I want to" to a friend!

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