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March 6, 2006
The Grump
![oscar[1].jpg](http://neweyes.atlblogs.com/archives/oscar[1].jpg)
There's this episode of Sesame Street where they have a grouch character called "the Grump", a spin-off of Trump and the Apprentice. Oscar and his female friend Grouchetta are competing for all the Grump's trash and Elmo is there to be a good helper and he gets all the questions right. But since the Grump is a grouch Elmo doesn't win because he is helpful unlike the grouch mentality. I feel like that grouch today. Not just because I cleaned out my Camry and found enough peanuts on the floor to put back in a box and sell back to Harry's, but because I am just that, A GRUMP today. I kept praying that God would give me patience with my children. My daughter just didn't want to be entertained at all just held, held and held summore. Oh my. I just wanted to be independant from them today. As I made Eden wait until her naptime to be nursed to sleep, I harumphed under my breath, "baby girl, I just can't make you happy every moment you want to be!"
and with that I was brought ever so low, to curl up in my Father's lap and know that He put that in my brain for me. All at once that peace came and I sat down. All business aside. My car can stay dirty a few more moments so I can help my daughter feel secure, loved and comforted. I thought on these days when my emotions take over my reason that I wish I could just get knocked unconscious and wake up feeling better, whole, not anxious. As I laid my sleepy daughter in her bed and saw her curl up, sigh and curl her lip out I remembered once again how beautiful it is to be a mother and how precious it is to be a daughter. All my needs will be taken care of even the things that seem unreachable.
I laugh as I think of what a display we were at Kroger. Josiah asked me if I was crying and I wasn't, I was laughing at myself. Ugh. How humbling it is.
I have been telling myself that God will provide us a minivan soon. I'm serious I've been thinking it's just going to happen! Now I"m realizing that it gonna take more work than wishing and proclaiming. I checked some sites for a Previa (the only Jap van we can afford) and I just can't believe that we can afford it either. They're great cars but old and always have high miles. I'd really love a Honda. Always wanted a Honda, but no way. They're probably closer to 12K. See, we buy cars. No payment plans for us. Why? Cars can be bought right out these days. But I need the faith that it'll happen and at the perfect time. I am thankful for the cars we do have. Little or no probs and great MPG. I need to sell some art so I can feel better about what I do. I have paintings in a stack in my garage and they need to be bought. I had Jana on ebay for $500. That's the lowest I can go for that one. I know selling art on ebay is a chance, but it was worth a try. I hope that I can get more than one piece into our painting class show at Pangea in a few weeks. The two Metro paintings together could get me 700-800 bucks.
My folks are coming down tommorow to help us with some house repairs. I'm going to finally tile our kitchen backsplash in a pretty cobalt tile. I will do it! And it will rock! And I also will get some laundry room shelving. Yeah! It might make me want to stay in this house through the summer! And we are getting a new dishwasher from IKEA sice the one that came with the house (miracle it worked this long) is leaking and our pergo floor is warping.
But I also am wondering. How clean can a mama of two kids 3 and 10 months keep a 1700 sq foot house clean enough to be acceptable? Am I insane for feeling depressed that it's always gross? I didn't want to become this way, it just happened! I thought I was an orderly person but, no more! I am feeling the slobness creep in ever so slowly. Wasn't fair that the house was dirty and under construction when we bought it.
Whew! I got a bad case of the Monday's! Too bad because it's way to pretty outside! I'll go vut me some daffodills from the front yard, have some coffee and a sandwich and instead of clean watch some art 21.
the spirit within | By | 3:26 PM
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Comments
thanks at million tons kate for all of your well wishes, da bombs, and phone message. i will try to call you wed. night. you have been my inspiration over and over, in your mothering, daughtering and artist-ing. i will pray that you sell some of that art work, because i know first hand the feeling of art stacking up around, suffocating the living artistic daylight out of you. i love you with all of my heart. did you happen to get a pkg?
Posted by: cat at March 7, 2006 12:20 PM
girl, I hear you. ezra was sick all last week and just wanted to be held. now, he's better and still: wants to be held. and I want to give that to him as much as I can but you can't hold them and make them happy every second (you know that as well as I do). so I too pray for patience, continuously,it seems. and I pray to let go of that ever-urgent need to clean and get things done and cross things off my list. and I'm always amazed at how God provides (whether or not I'm always open to it-- that's the thing).
anyway, thanks for sharing this.
Posted by: andrea at March 7, 2006 11:22 AM
That picture of Eden is super cute, she is adorable.
Take lots of pictures of the backsplash and post them (if you want :)). I would love the inspiration, we want to put up a tile backsplash in our kitchen but we are nervous about tiling since neither of us have done it before.
Posted by: jlg at March 6, 2006 7:09 PM
