June 23, 2009
I should be doing something else
I should be thinking about dinner, I should be playing in a pool somewhere, I should be coming up with cute science projects or crafts for my big kids to do, I should be scheduling playdates, but no, I need to blog right now. There comes a time when you need to right? Of course. I always say that blogs are great because your thoughts are all recorded and you can search through them like Google. I feel that I need to keep writing if not for anyone else, but for me to remember these seasons and make each day count.
After two weeks of summer camps for Josiah he's home with me for week two in a row of Mom's schedule and Mom's activities. Part of me feels guilty that I am not romping around with him in a park somewhere, or in a pool, but I have two other kids, one who is a baby that needs a nap between 8 and 11am and again between 1:30 and 5pm. So who knows. Sometimes he wins and gets a day full of joy, activity, friends and exhaustion. It's good that he doesn't get that everyday. He gets wiped out pretty easily. Giving him things to do: new books, new adventures to spark his imagination, dress ups, experiments, projects, these things are easy to do while sisters are sleeping. Or easy to do with Eden tto, and oh how she loves projects!
But my creativity runs out toward the end of the day, sometimes sooner when demands on me stretch my lunchtime out further and further. All I want is to get the closest piece of pizza or a burrito or something to recharge. I'm trying to be smarter. I did low carb for two weeks and just barely knocked off a few pounds. Maybe my body isn't ready to lose a lot of weight yet. I feel better when I eat better.
Somedays I just want to have more than 45 minutes to myself. The big kids have a quiet time where they play in their room with legos, dress ups, playmobile etc. It's nice whether I spend all of it with a fussy Tessa, making dinner, on Facebook, or making art. Sometimes after a long day of the heat, that quiet time is what their tired bodies aches for.
My art gets pushed to the back burner over and over. Yesterday it made me grumpy. This weekend I have a short art showing for Last Fridays here on the Southside. I have pieces that I've only shown twice. I know these pieces are sellable. I sold Whiteside just this past weekend to good friends. I am thankful for what I have and what I can make, but man, the last minute stuff just doesn't fly with my Mommy life. I can't frame everything this week, I can't pick anything up until the day before! But I am again thankful that I have this show. I have projects that give me that yearning to make more. I have compositions floating around in my mind waiting to be put down. Thankfully I have an awesome husband who hears my sad communication for more time to paint and he promises time. Even with the baby. I love what I get to do everyday, it's a hard job but every day is a challenge.
***As I've been writing this I've been going back and forth doing "experiments" with the big kids with food coloring, water, vinegar and baking soda. And I think they got ahold of my garlic salt. hmmmm, it's getting out of control***
family | By katiek | 3:58 PM