August 26, 2008
Anointed Day
Sunday evening I was prepared for MONDAY the first busiest day of my semester. I'm just not sure what MONDAYs will become this semester. I give over the security of taking Josiah to school to his Papa (which is fine, I just always like to know what's up) and picking up Josiah to my faithful friends and neighbors Amber and Marion. Then I have to get Eden and I ready for a full day of HHL out on Hickory Valley Rd. My first class starts at 10am so I have to be there at 9am. Lunches packed, pregnancy remedies available, baby sitter and teacher's aid contacted, and a mind that's fresh so I can teach 3 classes in a row with 15 min breaks in between. I was very stressed out. I had prepared, this is my second year so I'm not as green. But even then, there is the unknown. Joel said to me,"You haven't been very happy this weekend". No I wasn't, the unknown was making me unpleasent. Josiah woke up Monday morning with a dry cough and his voice was half gone. NO! Not the first day of his first week of Kindergarten! I cried. I felt terrible! I could do nothing, nothing but pray. I grabbed Josiah's head in my hands and said, "Lord, please heal Josiah and keep his classmates healthy too". See, Josiah is so resiliant to sickness, but he'll lose his appetite, he'll misbehave more often, he won't have as many receptors to learn. Ya know, all the great stuff about being sick at school. I needed God to comfort me and help me to know Josiah would be fine.
Joel dropped him off and came back home and told me Josiah would have Mrs. Challener. I still can't say her name right, look whose talking huh? Eden and I got to HHL by 9am and settled in. My first class was high schoolers, and I talked at them most of the class, rules and syllabus. My Middle school class was a smidge less subdued, but still was patient as I talked at them, for not quite as long. My elementary class has 15 4th and 5th graders. It's an adventure! I closed the doors, told eager mommies to wait, gobbled down my fresh veggie lunch, mmmm, tomatoes and mozzerella. And my efficient teacher's aid did a quick clean and organize of the two large tables. Elementaries are so funny. I always have more girls than boys, those girls cram themselves at one table until they can't budge! The boys have all this space to create! Girls, what a buncha ninnies! They're loud, they're silly, they make a holy mess, but what a satisfying way to end the day! They are never disappointed.
Eden had a grand time with Meghan, the best baby sitter ever, and Lisa Tolsen's 3 girls. She painted a picture of Ariel, good times. She got a piece of birthday cake and fell asleep finishing the last bite on the way home. I scooped her up and put her in her bed then jogged over to Amber's to retrieve Josiah. All nervous that he was a balled up heap of fever and snotty goo, Amber said,"He looks fine to me!". Oliver graciously let Josiah borrow the Superman costume, again. I asked Josiah if he was alright and he answered in a very horse voice, "Oh I'm bad Mama." Amber and I giggled at his short but played up response.
Josiah had his downtime in front of PBS, dressed as Superman and downing cups of water because I hated to hear his raspy voice. He chilled out nicely until 5 and Eden was awake shortly after. They played nicely. Joel came home while I was making a kick butt imitation rosatella sauce. We ALL ate it, yum!! The kids played in Joel's hitch-hikers tent that evening while I loaded and unloaded the dishwasher before dark. I got the whites in the laundry, before dark. I picked up clothes in our bedroom and put away the toys that belonged upstairs. God gave me super-natural energy! Praise God! The kids were in bed by 8:30 and my wonderful husband got milk and the next season of PrisonBreak for us. I started another painting for Clothesline and was in bed before midnight. This, my blogging friends was an anointed day. A day that I did not expect. A day that I thought would kick my ass a million times over and instead God gave me a cloud of joy and gladness. And on top of everything else, Sarah Davick sent me a kind email regarding Eden's pre-school stuff etc:
I hope you are doing well and that little one is growing strong and healthy. I know this must be a crazy time for you - Josiah starting kindergarten, Eden starting "preschool", you starting your teaching back up again for the year, AND anticipating the arrival of a new one. Pace yourself. It is okay to take a break and not get the dishes done, or read another book to the kids, or sweep the food out from under the table. It will all eventually get done, and no one will be the worse off for waiting until Mommy is rested enough to do it.
I dont' think Sarah realized that if I hadn't gotten the hint already with how smoothly the day went, God was telling me through her words that I was doing the right thing and everything will be OK. It definately feels OK, I'm getting paid almost twice as much as last semester. My teaching job is quite a blessing. My life is an amazing blessing.
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July 1, 2008
Lakeland Florida Healing Outpouring Revival
Now put that title in your pipe and smoke it! We made the long drive with kids to Lakeland. We squeezed into the world's smallest (but not grossest) hotel room. We went to lots of meetings. We worshipped, we listened, we met other folks passionate for Jesus. We heard alot of 'glory stories'. We are tired but at the same time refreshed. You can think what you want, read what you want, doctrine-my-brains-out all you want, what I know is that when God changed my life forever back in 1998 in Norway I knew I wasn't going to have a pew-sittin' faith. I squirm at quiet churches. But I do love peace. Peace can happen while everyone else is screaming, crying, flag waving around me. I have a relationship with Jesus that involves craziness, but it also involves my brain. I went because my husband is the spiritual leader of our family and I know him, trust him, and our hearts both beat for Jesus. He had to see what was going on, and so did I. It didn't feel strange at all to me. So if I have some time in this crazy month of July I'll write more for you. I hope that my thoughts here show that I am not searching only for an experience, but I will admit that God is a God that should be experienced. Have you felt him? Deep in your bones? Ok, I'm done for now.
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June 23, 2008
Hey Psst!
I'm just here to catch up. Really the summer's been plodding right along with little pockets of joy here and there. I still feel a big weight about this summer, but I am not dwelling on it, we still are ourselves no matter what changes. And I desperately want to feel sand in between my toes and spend an hour or more in a large chlorinated space with my kids giving little "hooray" jumps and splashes over and over. I do think I am getting away this weekend though. Because of Joel's reoccuring hunger to not be "charismatic light" but to go all the way. I guess that goes for me too. I feel like a honeymoon period has ended. New friends become real, new experiences become hard work, and questions pop up that you don't want the answer too. The place inside of me that grows is that place that wants to feel God building me up. I know I don't have to run and find Him, but sometimes (and I think many do not even try) you have to take a chance and get out of your space and go somewhere. Whether it be a weekend alone with your spouse, a long drive with the windows down in the country, a long cry that comes from almost nowhere but everywhere at the same time, or it could be to go to Lakeland Florida and see what all the hub-bub is about. And that's my version of Bobby's Last Thoughts. Abbreviated like.
I have been battling some tell tale pregnancy demons. Headaches for one. They aren't always bad, but they are annoying and they don't really go away. I'm irritable. My volume level goes up quicker than it should, and little things that I could handle pretty easily will just send me retreating into a place of denial or send me on a rampage to straighten out every last frustrating tid-bit. My little darlings will have to forgive me every day for something I feel I went overboard on. Thankfully they forgive so well, with big hugs and kisses and 'I love yous'.
With a little less than 3 weeks to complete 3 pieces of art I am hoisting myself up and in front of my easel again. I am hoping to capture a very interesting Tokyo at night piece. I'm not straying too far from my Metros right now, because I've gotten good feedback and I want to perfect certain things. So I have a long skinny black panel waiting to be painted on and I think I'm ready to start plotting out the composition.
I hope a weekend in Lakeland will bring some good stories and inspiration, I look forward to being out of these four walls.
Headache and all, I watched Be Kind, Rewind last night. What a charming movie! If you loved what High Fidelity tried to do for Jack Black you'll love this one because it's got a better plot and better characters (and less gratuitous language). And I love Mos Def, I think he's one of the best looking men around. It just had those fun laughs that you love to have, and it's heart warming. Check it out!
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June 3, 2008
A vacation from myself
This week is New City Fellowship's Vacation Bible School. Oh my goodness, it's been really nice so far! I must say, I do miss my kids during the best part of their day, but wow. I got to get through Walmart in just an hour yesterday, and today I cleaned my house just a little bit better than normal. Baseboards, vacumming, those aren't always the things that get done. And the kids come home with wonderful tales of how Joshua had a horn, or a sword. Eden shows me the motions to "Ain't no Rock" in her petite 3-year old way. Josiah is thrilled that some of his friends are there (we weren't sure who he'd know). They're home by lunch so I feel like I am on a mini-vacation from myself! I guess when school is in session I'll feel this way a little bit, but I will be growing larger by the moment. I plan to tackle my ignored office this week and buy mulch and such for my front bushes.
I'm feeling the joys of being 12 weeks pregnant, I'm tired but I'm not sick anymore. My uterus is making itself known, but this time around I don't feel like nothing fits. Maybe it's that all my summery clothes have elastic and drawstring waists already! I have an appointment tommorow with my midwife and I'm holding my breath a little bit. It's always kinda scary to go in, like they have the final say as to whether you're OK or not, even though you feel OK and everything is moving along OK. I look forward to hearing the little heartbeat. That will be all the treasure I need to keep going.
Thanks to all yooz guys that backed me up with my road-rage experience. I must say, I'm glad to have that under my belt and able to move on without much trauma. That same day I had another encounter with a little boy who was playing with Josiah. He was being kinda mean, calling names, snide attitude, tattling alot. I was the only parent on the playground and this was not my first encounter with this boy. He ended our evening being VERY disrespectful to me. So much so that I took my kids home that instant before I blew fire at the kid in all my pregnant emotional rage. Instead, I got inside and sobbed for a good 5 minutes and told Josiah what an awesome boy he was and that he made me so proud by NOT hitting and standing up for his sister when the others were calling her names. We went back outside and played on our porch and sidewalk and while we were standing on the sidewalk talking to the neighborhood kids that we get along fabulously with, this boy drove by with this mom and stuck his tongue out at us! I was ready to yank that thing outta his face! But by the grace of God I kept my cool in front of the 5 children that surrounded me. Quite a life lesson that day. It's taken me awhile to get over it.
I want to protect my children so much. Their little hearts are so important to me. I know that they will feel rejection and disappointment, but I pray that they will have a supernatural resiliency. I have always felt love from my parents and my brother. I hope that our little family always loves and supports one another. It makes me afraid thinking of school next year. But God has made Josiah such a joyful boy that I hope he affects those around him to love and be joyful. He has a keen sense of injustice, and for that I am so proud. I can't wait to see what God builds him up to be. I hope that my tears over injustice help him realize that this world is not our home and that God loves us even in times of heartache. I didn't mean to get on this track with this post, but these days my waves of feeling are unpredictable.
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April 9, 2008
Convincing Myself
I want to write a long post about how the last few days have been overwhelming, but still good. I guess that's what life usually is. For me. I keep myself in a constant state of "things I should be/want to be doing". The car accident was something that I had no idea would affect me the way it did. I've hit things before, I've hit other cars, although it's been 10 years. Looking at what we've been praying for and longing for and fitting the accident into that, it's funny, and wierd. I'm trying to tell my brain that my heart is right, right now.
And that with this life-altering thing (cuz that's what I think of it as, a thing), have been the tasks that I normally do. And I went on, achieving satisfying results. God blessing is still on us and shines on my efforts. I had a wonderful day printmaking with my two art classes on Monday. They all had a blast! I took on the always daunting task of designing the Clothesline Art Show card, and it came out well, I think it will make an impression. I received a call from someone doing a short video on ArtsMove from the Lyndhurst Foundation and they want to interview me for their video. I made a list of the artwork I have for Clothesline and I already have around 18 pieces just going in! I talked with another homeschool/cottage school leader last night about teaching art to around 10 7th graders, and man, that would be nice! I could make $1000 a month teaching art! I'm thinking now as I read all the summer camp stuff in Chattanooga Parent that I should do a freakin' Summer Camp! I mean dang!
Even though I have no idea if I will get one of those itty bitty grants that Create Here has to give away, I still want to work on my vision. The thing is, will it sell? I'd love to take a survey some time to find out what the Clothesline clientelle would want. Maybe if I did that I'd be painting Mini Metros and Pods my whole life. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Well....we all want to see growth. Bunny trail, so this is the church at the end of Read Ave here on the Southside. There are many lines I need to fix, but I am in love with gouache and the character of it. I just add another layer and it dries to a wonderful matte texture. I'm sure there will be a circle in this one before too long.
I feel the trasition to one car will be challenging, but this is the perfect time of year to do it. Now if we could stick it out until mid-May to June... stay tuned, I might just become that biking Mama the Chatt TFP cited.
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April 5, 2008
Little Bug in the Road
I procrastinated. Well sorta, every time I start something else I feel like I'm procrastinating from another thing I need to be doing. I'm putting off challenging pieces for Clothesline. But I'm teaching printmaking Monday in class, we'll be carving into the Easy-Cut Blocks. I had to try it myself and I was looking forward to trying it! I love printmaking! I did my little beetle, and I like it, I want to print this little guy on all kinds of paper in all kids of colors!
And on the crappy, horrible, whatta-bad-day, side of things: I wrecked the Prev on the way home from the CDM today. I was driving, I didn't stop at the damn blinking red at the end of Carter Street and I got hit. I am praising God that we are all OK. Let me say that again PRAISE GOD WE ARE ALL OK!!! I have some fear about the process. The man I hit was really mad, and the woman in the car with him, who was disabled already, was sent off in an ambulance. I do not want to be full of fear, but I am afraid of the outcome. I have never been in a wreck like this. I was in shock for quite a while. I am ashamed of myself, that I did this with my kids in the car. The kids got over it really quickly, they were bringing me loads of dandilions as we waited for the police to come. But I also am amazed that I haven't wrecked before. I mean screaming fighting kicking children in the backseat, isn't that a recipe for an accident? That could have happened whenever. It shook me up good, lots of tears. lots of what if's. Honestly, what I have resolved about this is that (besides the inconvenience) I want to pray for the other party involved. They need it, and I need to get my mind off me.
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April 3, 2008
A lot of this lately
I would love to post pictures of artwork but it's all still in a process that's not worth posting. Now that one deadline is over I have a couple new ones. Specifically Clothesline. I have been waiting for Photoshop to arrive in the mail and I"m starting to sweat! Pray that it arrives soon! As soon as my new Photoshop gets here I will get the design done immediately, order them and get them into our hands to mail out! There is so much that goes into Our Clothesline Show, my little part seems like the tip of the iceburg. I love doing it though.
I also have art projects to grade( I should have had that done two weeks ago), course descriptions and supply lists to make up. And I've had another homeschooling group ask me if I would teach ten pre-teen girls next fall. I'm kinda dreading August, but with a sense of a really interesting chapter of my life. Kids in school, teaching school, possible grant. Lord, give me grace! Changes are scary but they are necessary in order to make me wiser, more flexible, and ultimately more selfless.
I have started a gouache piece of the brick church on Read Ave and I have my eye on another plate with the cool orange Taco Stand on it. I love the shape of that taco stand!
We had a discussion of the film Into the Wild last night and found ourselves talking about our children and how to bridge the time period where they venture out on their own. We prayed that the so-called "inevitable distance" would not be an issue in our families, and we would strive through prayer and patience to guide our children into adulthood instead of having them want to rebell against what we are as parents. It's kinda terrifying, because we still have no idea who these little people will be. But trusting the Lord to help us parent and trusting that He will lead them no matter what gives us comfort.
Having my daughter melt-down into a first class drama queen just reminds me to be patient, and much like my mother, stop, be silent and listen. Even though I have multiple opportunities to advance my career, I have to remember my life goal is not to be an amazing sucessful artist, but to be a great mother, wife and child of God.
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March 16, 2008
Where's all the graffiti?
It's all over Missy's belly!! We had a wonderful baby shower for Missy that went so smoothly and was very guided by God I believe. We had probably close to 20 people including a few little girls. I asked Kelly to paint Missy's belly with henna and that experience added a relaxing touch to the whole event. (Thanks Jen for the kit, it worked perfectly!)
We shared in a very natural way about what a special gift a son is and we had prayer for Missy's little boy Birch, that God will build him up to be leader, protect his heart from temptation, and called out the warrior in him to fight for the truth with a great faith in Christ. Wonderful prayers!
I've never hosted a baby shower before, but I felt really relaxed. Mostly because I knew the women attending were my sisters in Christ whom I have been vulnerable, and I mostly wanted to welcome them to my home. I had so many women tell me tonight at church that they enjoyed it sooo much! I believe it was the Holy Spirit. We were gathered to shower blessings and the Lord was there.
Kelly did a pretty awesome job on Missy, we were all tickled to see the outcome!
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March 14, 2008
Morning Walks
I know some of you out there think I don't sleep at all and that I've probably got a battery back-up or something. I do get weary, I don't stay up til 1am very often. I have been getting up at like 6:30am and walking every morning. I didn't think I could do it, but I've realized that it's great to be out when it's quiet and I have no agenda besides getting home at a good time for Joel to get to work. My back doesn't get sore if I walk in the morning. It must loosen me up! I get to clear my head and pray, brainstorm and look around me for inspiration. I usually don't take my camera, mostly because it's too dark! But there are some wonderful colors and shapes that early in the morning. The clock is ticking for the Make Work Grant and I have not taken a single step forward on it. I'm a bit afraid that I'll get stressed and afraid of the process once I get into it. Kinda like doing taxes. Something else I still hafta do. But these are some images that I captured during my walk the other day. There are so many wonderful shapes. After our critique last weekend for Clothesline it makes me want to swallow these shapes whole and spit out some challenging brand new artwork! Hopefully I can have some time to spit out a grant for even more grand art projects for the future.
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March 4, 2008
Waking Up and Spring Rain
God is really good to us. We had a wonderful time reflecting on the faithfulness of Joel's grandfather and the blessings his faithfulness has brought us all. Life in the Knutson family will change, but what is life without some changes? As soon as we stumbled in our front door Sunday I was so glad to be back in Chattanooga. I went to Trader Joe's while down there, and went by myself which is especially nice. It was crazy busy, but it's great to have a freezer full of treats and loads of 2-buck-Chuck. Atlanta is just too much. We think of the years we lived there with fondness, but man, there was alot of sorrow and lonliness too. It doesn't have everything to do with a place, but it sure does make life harder when you're driving so much with really tired kids.
God smiles on us in Chattanooga. I hope that you, my dear readers, feel the same where you are. When I feel like I'd rather be swinging in some bigger city like NYC or LA, or some hipper trendier city like Portland or Chicago, I remember that my life is not defined just by where I live. The quality of life is so much better now than it was just 8 years ago when I lived in Chattanooga before. The opportunities are better, my motivation is better.
I'm working on a piece for the Passages show that opens on Thursday and will have a closing reception on the 29th of March. It's coming along, I'll show you more of it when I feel better about it, probably tonight or tommorow since I have to have it done by Wednesday morning. Good thing the curator of the show lives next door! I am enjoying the red oxide paint my friend Rachel gave me in combination with a bleached out blue color. I'm wondering if I will just render the scene in the photograph or if I will add something to it. I always tell myself to simplify, but it's always more and more that I find I have to do. I will one day become so good at what I do I will not need to tweek and tweek it will just be done.
If you live in the Chattanooga area and have not been to Taco Rico on Main Street you really MUST go. They have a great take out service if their huge-TV-with-Spanish-soaps ambiance is not what you're feelin'. It's terribly kid friendly though. I recommend their chicken burrito. It's about $2 less than Mojo or Moe's and for women like me it's just enough food, no more staring at your plate in pain that you have half a burrito to carry around until you get home. They have some great sauces. One's like a tomatillo sauce that's a good mixture of spice and the other is an oiler kind of salsa cilantro dressing with chopped onion. Their pupusas are great for the kids.You'll have to get a few because they're small and addictive! We get bean and cheese for the kiddies, the pork ones are awesome! Tamales are also great, they remind me of an El Salvadoran hobo dinner. It's wrapped in a husk and is made out of corn meal with chicken and veggies. They have the only hand made tortillas in Chattanooga. Very fresh and authentic. They're open when everything else is not. Bluegrass closes at 2, Niedlov's at 6, Taco Rico is there for you until 9pm. YUM!!
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February 7, 2008
Gnarly
There are lots of things I'd like to write about but I am observing Lent this year and the one thing I told myself I would limit is my internet "fun" time. So my daily hour of play is almost up. Literally like 30 seconds left. So I'll catch you here tommorrow. Think about what you should be doing instead of reading this. Go, be outside. Talk to an actual human that's not online. Make some art. Write a letter to someone on paper with your favorite pen. I'm going to start dinner and finish a bunny.
Later.
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December 17, 2007
Not so Simple
A few of you that know me in person have said to me that I am very transparent on this blog. Honestly that makes me wonder if I'm doing something wrong, like maybe I should hide to protect myself or my family from some sort of danger. I've gotten myself in trouble with some things I've said, but it all was good in the end.
I feel I have to use this blog as a journal a little bit because I would drive myself crazy keeping up with seperate places where I recall events and feelings towards them. I admit I'm feeling a buncha hormonal today and often that leads to long reflective posts that I recover from as soon as said hormones are flushed out.
As thankful as I should be for everything I have I always want to keep it real with this kind of heavier reflection. We've all read those blogs, or subscribe to those blogs, that make thier lives seem peachy. Lives full of great things, nice pictures, funny children, happy parties, beautifully crafted projects. Life seems like a sit-com, divided into those short segments that get worked out in a few paragraphs of description. We don't necessarily hear/see the bad stuff. The flaws in our physique, the illness, the tantrums, the marital or financial problems, the traffic jams, the wonderlust, the dirt that surrounds the crevices of our homes. I mean really, do we want to see or hear those things? Don't we all read blogs to kinda escape from our mundane stuff? But then, where is the community? Is it healthy to just read people's happy stuff and compare our not-so-happy stuff to that? The real world is filthy and those of us that are housewives or have homes to take care of are always struggling with the filth. And you know I'm talking about more than actual brown dusty dirt.
We watch more TV than I'd like, we talk less than I'd like. I clean less than I should, I exersize very little. I indulge in things more than I should. I spend money I don't have, I take short-cuts I shouldn't, I don't read my Bible as much as I'd like, I look in the mirror too often, I buy things thinking they will make me happy, I am too proud sometimes. I am selfish. Aren't we all? Can I be more of a downer?
I will not go on for decades of life, marriage and parenting pretending these things aren't bad. They are, I want to become someone I can be proud of. I've built up parts of myself and let other things suffer. I am a first child and have perfectionistic tendancies, but some things need to be worked on as if they can become perfect even if as sinners they never will here on earth. I need to work toward parenting like Christ who is perfect. I need to work toward being a perfect wife and love the way Christ does. And how do I react in my family when things need to be changed and I ignore it day after day? My kids and my husband are investments that take hard work and sacrifice. It hurts a lot, but the work should be above and beyond not just getting by.
This Christmas season I have been struck by things in our family that need to change ASAP. They are not at a point of urgency but really, do I want to wait that long? NO. I want to act now! They say that people that stay a healthy weight their whole life know when they've gained a little and change just a few things so they don't suffer with a hard hard diet change or activity level, they just adjust to a level where they do what they need to do and eat what they know to eat. I want to take this and run with it. I want to make changes that are mildly difficult not heart-stopping. I have not been satisfied, I do not wake up pleased with myself. This is not about resolutions even though it happens to take place at the end of the year, this is about conviction.
Prayer, Healing, Confession, Worship, Discipline, for me and my whole family. Beyond the dirty bathrooms and unpacked boxes. Beyond the holiday pudge and the teeth I forgot to floss. Real inner change that effects the every day and makes the years ahead less painful because I chose to adjust now. Lord, help me to be a child that obeys your voice.
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December 1, 2007
the new and familiar
I'm watching Ani Difranco on Conan and I forgot how nice her song Both Hands is. I still know most of the words. And she's a tiny tiny woman next to Conan!
And I'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall, and when we leave the landlord will come and paint over it all.
So long ago, so familiar.
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November 21, 2007
This Season
The paper plant across the park from out house caught on fire the other night. It was neat seeing the firemen on the roof putting out the orange. By yesterday afternoon it was up and running with it's loud steam exhaust and shift change speakers. It made for some pretty pictures though. Maybe it'll make it's way into a painting.
With it getting dark so early it's been hard for us to get motivated and out in the evenings. Last night Joel and I desperately wanted to talk, but the children don't really care about that. They want to romp and frollick. So we set up Joel's European hitch-hikers tent in the living room and that made for a great evening playtime.
Our household has been kinda under a cloud recently. The details are too many to mention, but it has been a great effort to rise above the everyday and look to the future. It's hard to think of the tough solutions and then start to slowly act on them. In this time of thanksgiving it takes strength to look past these things that are irritating and move into the place where we are truly thankful. Marriage, parenthood, career, friendship, and commitment to Christ, these things all have very difficult paths sometimes. Now, don't get me wrong, we're a resiliant bunch, but there are things that are making us feel heavy and these things need to be uprooted to see what can be mended. So this Thanksgiving I am thinking about prayer. I am talking alot more to Jesus it those quiet moments of the day. I am remembering how nice it was to have older, wiser, mentor types around me. Now that Joel and I are falling into those roles ourselves, we're seeing how hard it is to believe that Our Rock, the Lord Jesus, will give us the fortitude to overcome our circumstances. I have to remember to pray for those young people that surround me. Their problems might not be as heavy as mine in comparison, but to them they are big. So I am thankful for responsibility. I am thankful for those I take care of. I am thankful for prayer, rest, cool evenings where the night air enters you and wakes up your senses. I am thankful for the faithfulness that only the Holy Spirit can put inside of us. And I am thankful for seasons, where you can see how God's hand is moving and molding you even if you're unwilling to be changed.
Ultimately, we are happy and we are not blind and blaming our problems on "the kids are so grumpy" or "we don't have enough money" or "it was a hard day at work" or "I just have all these projects" or "I can't take another day of pink-eye". We are depending on God to keep our eyes open so we can be honest, loving, growing, children of God. And it will be nice to get away, be with family back in the ATL. Go to Trader Joes and IKEA, and have fish tacos with new friends who will be there too. Oh yeah, and get some watercolors done for the Metro Series Show!
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October 25, 2007
A Little Ill
The responsibilities are stacking up and deadlines are approaching. I've been feeling a little bit sick, un-nerved. Tuesday morning I thought I wasn't going to make it, I called Mom so I would have back up with the kids. It ended up being my nerves and not a bug. I'm trying to treat myself kindly, but the deadlines don't go away. I am very blessed to have so many things that are making my life rich, but this weekend there are too many things coming together. It will all go well, it will all be fun. We are going camping (YEAH!!) with our church (super YEAH!!) for the weekend. Then, since my husband needs some time off during the beautiful time of year, we're going to Helen GA to hang out at a Knutson time-share for a couple days. I had to get a substitute teacher for Monday, and for Wednesday I have to be ready for a Hillbilly Hootenanny for Josiah's Pre-K. So thankfully my Mom takes the kids out tommorow morning to the CDM and I can finish 3 lesson plans, get Halloween costumes together, get Pre-K activities planned, finish laundry, pack clothes and food, and art supplies. I still have a show starting December 1, with the reception being the magical date of December 8, and I need to make a lot more art.
I took the kids down to Main and Mocha on Sunday and we hung out downstairs. This would be a nice little place for an art show. The seating is intimate, and the lighting is nice. It needs it, and it'd be a great place for a private party. So there's a small plug, but most of all I like finding unexpected places to beautify and accentuate.
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June 27, 2007
Internal Affair
I feel I need to give you a little sneak peek into my afternoon. I don't have anything of great news to report. Still working on being a teacher in the fall, new art for the Clothesline (although it seems my greatest artwork will be the frappin' card! phew), a neighborly neighbor, and a nurturer of my children.
I guess I have been a little stuck on how fast time has flown by lately. Now, those of you in my same phase of life will testify that some days seem to never end. And some weeks (especially those filled with sickness) seem to be a lifetime. But I can't believe that half of 2007 is over already. Our lives really are like grass. When I look across the soccer field to the dark grey storm clouds, and witness my baby boy become more man-like everyday, I am swept away with wonder. I am reminded that I belong to a greater purpose. My life is so small, and where can I make a difference in the huge world, and even huger Kingdom. Those thoughts fill me with a fear that causes me to want to absorb my little things and appreciate how lovely they are. Maybe that's why I am painting critters, children, flowers. I mean, I could be writing my artist statement/testimony over and over again.
And so with that, I give you Brownie and Cookie in the Summer Garden. I think it's done, but wow, is there a lot going on! Am I losing my mind?? I just can't bring myself to tone this one down. I'm a little trigger happy with the colors aren't I? I won't apologize anymore for it, click on it, adjust the brightness and bask in the rays of this neon growth.
We're having a meeting for the Jefferson Heights Park at 5pm at the Neighborhood House (16th block of Jefferson) tommorow. Anyone who lives around us come on down and let's discuss the future of our park. And after we're having some neighbors over for dinner, a new couple that just moved in and the Bakers who have been around for a while. It'll be fun! Our 'hood is special and I love being home in the afternoon to witness all the comings and goings, as fast as the days go by.
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May 31, 2007
Quiet Days
Its 3pm and I'm finally sitting down to my lunch. A blur of builders and plumbers came to and fro through my house today solving new and old problems and making Josiah oh-so fascinated by what was happening. I mean, have a said how thankful I am for this house? Yes, I know I have. I am, I'm so thankful. Even though it's 3pm I had to sit on my porch upstairs just for a little while. The quantity of builders has wound down for today and my neighbors, although they are very nice, are gone and I feel more privacy. I finally have given Josiah a hair cut and finally retrieved my soaker hose from the crawl space so my new chopping "lawn" can have a drink. Seems my neighbors are 4 steps ahead in that department. I tip toe through my bedroom where Eden is napping and see her eyes pop open, "Go back to sleep baby" I say and she turns her head and closes her eyes. Yes. Finally I feel the normalcy take hold. No time to be lazy though, I have much left to do. I have blinds in install, so....many.....blinds. We have small group here on Tuesday and I'd love to get those blinds up (the ones we can afford) by then. It is great knowing that small group can be here. It's awesome that Cat can stop by whenever she has a moment to burn and Chris and Tara can end their evening with us brainstorming and laughing.
Then there is the fall staring me down as each day goes by. I must prepare for teaching. What a mind job!! There are assignments to do and books to read. There's planning and organizing that I know I can do, but I'm afraid I won't give myself the time.
I have so many options in front of me to be a part of the art world. One thing I've commited to is an art auction for breast cancer research at the Youngblood Gallery. The name is Pink! and it's organized by Travis who I got connected with via flickr. What a wonderful place! It'll work out nicely to go down to ATL and visit the fam (back from Manilla!) and drop off art, go to IKEA (for the home) and Trader Joe's (for the belly).
And after an unsucessful trip to the thrift store for a basket for shoes and clothes, I did find five, yes I said 5, skirts for summer! Whee! The weather is so wonderful now seeing as it hasn't rained it forever. But when that humidity hits I will have something nice to brave the heat.
I wish you all some nice quiet and bliss brought on by the time of year and the colors you surround yourself with.
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April 23, 2007
Asking Forgiveness
Beetle Pod, in progress
I haven't been feeling 100% great about my real time, real life job these days. I have been wanting to flee, have a vacation from the everyday. When I see the work that comes from the artists at 4 Bridges I wish that I had 6 months to work with no other distractions. It works me up to great frustration. I had a good cry about it. But after its done I remember that I have chosen a life that has many facets, and many rich wonderful things. I can't buy snazzy clothes, or even snazzy canvases. I don't have a day job that I can relate to the professional world, I am a mom that goes to Wal-Mart and playgrounds and the CDM. When I do have to relate to the professional world I find myself over-make upping, changing my clothes a million times, and fixing my hair over and over. Whatta crazy person I am. I drive Joel nuts. He always looks comfortable.
I have also felt very deflated about my kids and not knowing what to do with them. Feeling out of control. I have appreciated those of you out there who have told me that you feel the same way, that you're going through the same struggles. I want very much to feel that I am not alone in the struggle of parenting, but when the fit hits the shan I want to just make the chaos stop. 8 years of marriage and 2 kids, ages 4 and 2, just seems to be alot. A lot of responsibility, and for me a lot of guilt. Guilty that I am not all things all the time. When I should be playing joyfully with my kids, I am trying to frantically email before folks come banging (literally) on my door. Instead of getting the groceries purchased before noon, I am writing checks and mailing out art show invites.
I guess life will have the natural ebb and flow of craziness. I am happy knowing that I will be in my own new house very soon, and a chunk of our debt will be paid. There will be miles to go before I sleep, but during this hub-bub I am reminding myself of the jewels I have. I am surrounded by the noise of relationship: kids, husband, parents, cat. And at 1am when I am painting the newest set of pod paintings it is quiet and I can be alone. I wake up depleated some days, but the lack of sleep is sometimes worth the mental health.
Thanks to all for your admiration, conversation and consideration as we bumped into each other at various events this weekend. I am on the mend, and I feel these exhaling posts are valuable to some of you. Be encouraged, those of you who need it. I am glad to have you reading and caring about your choices too. Blessings.
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April 3, 2007
Thin
I'm feeling a little worn thin today. Too much on my brain. But you can enjoy these wonderful pictures from our Passover meal at the Englishs house. Warm, cozy, comfortable, times. Great lamb and wine and Q&A for the kids. Josiah remembered that Joseph had his coat soaked in blood. Jos loves the blood stories. When the mother of 6 tells you you looke tired you probably are. Thanks for the great meal guys! If anyone has a chance to visit the English home (especially for a meal) do it! It's an enriching experience and I've blogged about it before.
Think and pray for me this week. I've been offered a job at a homeschooling group to teach not one but 3 art classes in the fall. I'm mostly terrified of teaching elementary school kids. Grades 2-6 in the same room! Eeek! Lynn where are you when I NEED you!!!
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February 12, 2007
Numb with Whatnot
I am very glad for what changes have happened in our lives since we've moved to Chattanooga. But today, right now, that joy has a big dark cloud over it. It's paralyzing me from being able to function and think normal thoughts like, "Man what a beautiful day it is today" or "Yeah! I sold another pod!" All I feel is this overwhelming numbness that I have been so foolish, so irresponsible. And my future is full of questions. I can't look past the goodness, but the faults of mine make me feel like I've dug a hole that I can't crawl out of. I am saddened that I am scraping as much work as I can and still be a Mama that takes care of her kids. Joel and I have felt run over by our bills. The amount of money we have sunk into our Marietta house is just unmovable. It doesn't matter how many birds I sell, the money is already spent and I think about taking Josiah out of his $35 a month Pre-K because minimum payments are tight these days. I cringe when I get the mail. I check my email obsessively for any distraction or the hope of an art sale. There is so many projects that have been put on my plate, so many opportunities that I have to better the world, but oh Lord, when, when will we see the light. I have this sick anger in my stomach because BCBST pays Joel peanuts!!! Nothing makes me more angry than my husband not being appreciated for what he can do. I mean, it's our choice to go with BCBST, and the benefits are very very good, but the weeks and weeks of painful boring training is driving me crazy and I'm not even the one going through it. Joel is a trooper, but he has nothing but mediocre things to say about his trainers. My husband is so talented, so charming, he can bring people together and he has the great ability to see the most efficient and people friendly ways to do things. When, when Oh Lord will my husband find that favor? I have caught yet another scratchy throat bug, an I'm beginning to think that its just the stress that sickens me again and again. Our new house is such a blessing but I am full of fear. Home ownership is hard, my advice to anyone buying their first home is to approach it with great great awareness. The root of the word "mortgage" is death.
Needless to say I am feeling very humbled and a little panicked. All the things I have learned about money are coming to a head and I feel so weakened by it all. I know lots of people don't share their deep dark secrets on their blogs and I'm sure that I will regret posting these thoughts, but I can't just NOT talk about this. It's affecting everything around me these days. I pray that I have the patience to get up at 3am for my daughter, work til midnight on art (birds at least), have gentle conversation with my husband (who is so strong), and have patience to hear others worries and thoughts. I pray to have the clarity to teach my two students and have lesson plans for them, and to be a team player while working at AVA and not be a distracted putz. And I want to apologize in advance if you happen to talk to me an I seem distant, it's not you, it's my very lame coping mechanism.
I need the Holy Spirit to wash over me and relieve my doubts. I need Him to remind me that I will always be taken care of. That life is not ending and He will give me great things. That in the midst of all this debt I have had more art sell and more offers for teaching and portraits than I ever thought possible. I feel I am that pilgrim with a huge bundle on my back (and holding little babies' hands) as I walk a very steep trail. The trail is rough because of my making, but the trail is not what I created. God has set this trail in my life path to show me He is good, and strong, and that He is a Provider. He wants me to let go of the jewels and fine things and set my eyes on the necessities. Necessities like worship, partnership, parenthood, relationships (new and old), study, rest, and oddly enough every form of creativity. For one is not just creative because they can sew, paint, knit, sketch, or take awesome pictures. You are truly creative when all you think you need is far away and your God given creativity kicks in to make your every day joyful. Thanks for reading through this journey. I feel your love,
Kate
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January 2, 2007
What's Normal?
Now that the holidays are over, the Christmas tree is down, the presents are contained and have been broken in, visiting is over and living begins. I am still wondering where Normal will be. It takes awhile I think for me to fall into a pattern here in Chattanooga. Joel and I had 'the Hard Talk' the other night about what it's going to take for me to help our family chip away at house debt. Waiting tables has come up over and over and I can't say I love that idea. I asked Joel what would make him happy. What would he be proud of me doing? And being the man that I married he said, "Beating the street with your art and getting shows etc, that would make me happy/proud." Wow, whatta man I have. That doesn't let me off the hook in any way though. In fact it's some of the hardest stuff I've ever had to do. It'd be way too easy to mindlessly wait tables, not so many hurdles or 'what ifs'. I have so many ideas in my head but as my mom has said about the rest of my life right now "everything just needs a home" even my ideas need a home. They need a canvas, a frame, a brush, a subject, they need a house. My feelers are out, things take me by surprise and music overwhelms me. I am ripe for the picking. Christmas has been a kind of slow torture as my wells bloat with targets and I try to talk, blab, busy myself out of having to work. So while everyone else is making lists of resolutions to lose weight, eat better exercise; I am going to listen to my new music, print out promo packets, write galleries and other spaces. Gather for the hibernation of work. Joel my husband/manager cracks the whip over my head to produce. I will try to keep you all posted as to my progress hopefully with little talk and lots of pictures.
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December 8, 2006
Journey
There is something wonderful about the cold that blesses me every time it decides to visit. It effects my mood and you would think it would be bad, but instead it brings memories. I guess it gets cold here so rarely that this season is not just about Christmas. I think of old friends and old haunts. I think of the many different coats and hats I used to wear. My tried and true JCrew hat is lost and I have no idea what I am going to do with highs in the low 40's so close to Christmas. So I have been creating a Wists list and found some sweet little coats that I would like. But if anyone out there has a recommendation of a great jacket let me know!
I've been in a fog of pessimism lately and I haven't wanted to spill it all out on my blog. I haven't been much of a team player. I got no Christmas projects to share, although I am going to bow to her majesty craft/business goddess Hillary and try some stichettes. Of course the tree will go up on Monday. Maybe I can embroider that fast. Joel is a wonderful man, and he never lets these foggy places take over me. He listens and then reminds me that what we want, we we have, these things are given by God and we need to be joyful about it. After a day of buying back text books from Lee U students, I drove to Live Urban to get more papers signed and get a form to start picking out things like our counter tops and cabinets, what color hard woods etc. I am so not ready to pick that stuff out. I need people to help me!
This is what I did today. Jess is much more resourceful than I. She took my kids to the TN Aquarium on Tuesday and down to Jen's for Christmas cookie madness on Thursday. I took the three to the Library today and if my mom hadn't gone with me we woulda lost one I'm sure. Josiah and Lu Lu get along very well, but they are getting very used to each other and starting to fight like brother and sister. It's a sweet deal to have a trade so nicely, but it is hard work to entertain, contain, nourish and stimulate three little ones. I'm pooped.
I look forward to the near future where I will not be working hours that my children need me and instead I will be tutoring kids in art. Art lessons, can it work? Can I actually make money? God'll do it.
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December 1, 2006
Maybe this was made for me
The other night while I spent some QT with Cat, Joel took the kids up the mountain to look at Christmas lights. At Point Park they were tromping around when Joel noticed Eden was lagging behind and staring up at the sky. He asked her what she saw and noticed she was staring at tne very bright moon. The other day at the library, Eden found a book with a large moon on the front and called it a ball. Seems my girl is loving being moonstruck. It's wonderful to re-experience things though the eyes of your children.
I've been trying to make up Christmas lists and they are very short actually. The more kid-stuff you accumulate the less you want to ask for. But I'm slowly coming up with ideas. Eden loves balloons and Joel and I are seriously thinking that we should just get her a big bunch of helium balloons for Christmas, I mean it is Jesus birthday after all! We've never been a family that sings happy birthday to Jesus, but this might be a reason to do so.
I went to get oriented at my temp job at Lee University yesterday. I was stressing myself out so much thinking of going from not working at all to working possibly three days in a row at Lee. Getting the kids out the door by 8:20am max. Basically I've been stressing myself out a lot and I kinda don't know why. Well, being a creative mom and not doing a single project for Christmas sure makes me feel a little lazy and crazy. A haven't painted much and I want so badly to not lose more time. The changes of living arrangements are taking there toll on Josiah I can tell. He's being crankier and being very disobediant. But I have been very impatient too. So impatient.
Today is the first day of December and I am feeling like I need a jumpstart to creativity. It's like a part of me is on pause. It's hard for me to read all these blogger's fun projects without an inner groan. So here's a list of things I'd love to get started ASAP: Jesse tree with the kids, keepsake ornaments for the kids, finish Christmas stockings, Christmas photos/card. This is minimum and on top of getting some serious paint onto my first adoption painting.
Eden loves her some Tumble-Weeds!
A couple things about living in Chattanooga that I've noticed big-time. First of all TN has the worst roads ever!! It's bumpy and lumpy, if TN has a lottery now and has such high sales tax where is the money for good roads? The popular car is the Suburu Outback and popular shoes are Chacos, don't see that so much in the ATL. I went into Art Creations on Frazier today and I usually enjoy that store, their prices are good and I can get everything I need without catalogue ordering. But they have no handicap access so I had to leave the Sit-n-Stand on the front stoop. I was there shopping with 2 kids roaming free grabbing brushes and whacking random bottles of paint and no one came to check me out. I saw about 4 or 5 customers looking at the cheesy gifts in the back but no one was at there to take care of art supplies. I coulda walked out with my Cadmium Yellow Light but I didn't. Instead I walked back to the gift area after almost 10 minutes and said, "Does anyone work here?" That is the voice of a mother concerned that her children will break something, open tubes of paint and spray it across the room. A mother who was keeping a close eye on my stroller outside hoping it was still there. Please! Before the chaos gets worse: Ring up my stuff!! I sufficiently annoyed the manager I hope she realizes that she needs to cater to every kind of customer.
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November 25, 2006
Movement
I've been emotionally in limbo here at the Parentals. Trying to shake off the restlessness and think 'new life', 'new dwelling', and wobbling between roles. And with these thoughts are annoying physical symptoms that make me distract me from doing anything truly relaxing. Could I have carpal tunnel from blogging since Feb of 04? Whatever, maybe it'll just go away.
We brought so much stuff up here it makes me wonder what we will employ a moving company for? Nah, we got a million boxes in our garage for them. And my couches, I miss my couches. Mom fixed up my old apartment in the basement of there 1906 travel lodge home to be a little living space/studio area for our family. That will be very nice, if I can shake off this weirdness and get back my motivation.
I know that I will shake this off. I know I will feel better and fall into a role where I will feel less like a moocher and more like a helper. Where I will have a job and help out friends. Where I will attend functions and play with my kids at playgrounds that become familiar. Right now, I'm a blob. Right now I am decompressing and trying to wrap my head around life here and not just vacation. I know tommorrow is only Sunday, but I want to start real life real soon.
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November 13, 2006
A Taste of a New City
After a buncha planning and conversations. After balancing on the line between visiting and living with my folks. After the goods and maybes out weigh the bads. We're back in Marietta for the last couple weeks of suburban living. Our plan, for this weekend, is that we'll be up in Chattanooga for Thanksgiving and we'll stay. Joel is still waiting on Blue Cross-Blue Shield to tell him for sure that he's hired. We met with Live Urban real estate agent Caroline to sign papers and start the process of purchasing our new home. I hope by March we'll be in. I picked out the exterior colors and I get first dibs. We're the first signers on the block therefore everyone else's colors will fall into line with MY choice. Moo-hahaha the Power!! Sage with off white trim and a black paned door.
We used my birthday present of a CDM membership and had a ball with the kids. The giant guitar was a hot spot. Definately could burn some hours there. My favorite part was the mini-theatre complete with moving backdrop and stage lighting. Speaking of stage, we saw The Potting Shed at Covenant to see Joel's sis Amy act a little bit, but mostly to check out her wicked make-up!! Nice play, very thought provoking. And the cast was excellent. Good job dudes.
Went to NCF for the small art show they had there and got to take some shots of some art that New City has in there possesion. Doreen Kellogg banners and two posters designed by Cat that I never really saw finished. But probably what was best was seeing Garrett Nabors who I haven't seen in years. He looks very happy and should be, a good woman finally found him.
One thing I don't think I will ever get used to is running into so many people I know. I am shy about it. I want to run in the other direction. I saw my former boss' daughter at church. I would have gone to see how she was but she left early, she looked happy and was pregnant. We were having lunch with Bucky from NRV and I swear, I swear I saw Chad Hardeman. I felt 15 again. Seeing this class of '93er who looked exactly...the... same...paralyzed me and I jetted across the opposite side of the street unwilling to face the fact that this is my future in Chattanooga. It's wierd and I need to embrace it but today I tried to not notice. Yeah I'm a chicken but I'm happy, a little anxious, and pooped!!
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November 2, 2006
To Save the Day
Here the Super Hero in action. Promise Eden was not hurt, but funny how the Mom trigger finger pops into action when a large (although fluffy) object is flailed towards the head of a a little one.
We have a little breather. Sorta. The folks that want to see our house are not coming until tommorrow. But it doesn't mean I won't leave the house looking good. Around 4 last night Josiah came knocking and said those words you just LOVE to hear in the middle of the night, "Mama, I barfed". Now I know my son pretty well. He has a very good gag reflex and I'd been hearing him cough for about a half hour before he finally revealed the conclusion to this coughing. He emptied his stomach alright. But I asked him, "Did you tummy hurt? Or did you cough and then barfed" He said he coughed. I believe him actually. When the boy very upset will not chew and swallow all his food he will gag and spew everything he just got down. Ugh. None of us have been feeling really hot. Joel of course is the most resilient. Eden has had no appetite. I have been feeling pretty twisted inside, I'm hoping its just PMS. I know you guys are glad I'm sharing all this. I'm trying to figure out if we should have a sitter today or if I should go to Rome by myself. I'll see how this morning goes.
It's amazing what a good cry will do. After my Dad sent me a new Sara Groves CD I've been like on the brink of tears every moment. And as I crawl into bed and pray with Joel about all the things that are upon us (good and bad) I cry. Because I need to. Because sometimes a good cry to God keeps you from yelling at your husband and your children. It keeps road rage down. It helps balance the pressure in your head. I'm Pro-Weep. I think everybody needs a good cry, and whether its good or bad things you're crying about it is an action that God created and it has healthy benefits. So listen to your favorite music, watch your favorite tear-jerker, snuggle with your loved ones and have a happy cry.
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October 23, 2006
Bullets
Now this is wierd isn't it? Went to a Pumpkin Patch with the kids on Friday and they had handmade yard pin-wheel things and this Barbie head is piloting what looks to be the Red Barron plane. OK I know it would not have the US flag on it if it were the good ole RB but maybe I've been watching to much of this. Cute that Snoopy keeps getting called Ruby at our house.
Went to see 'Flags of our Fathers' on Saturday and can I say I was disappointed? Well, we were. Hey Clint, I liked Million Dollar Baby better.
On our way to the Legacy dinner Joel got a call. It's strange. Just downright strange to find out a former close friend decided to come out of the closet. Sometimes the world just seems wierd and sad.
I'm mentally preparing for the Shorter Show. In my first child, perfectionist way I want to frame everything for this show. But wouldn't ya know it, we have termites. There goes $800. I'm keeping my head up. I know this show will be good without frames.
I have been thinking about starting to fast once a week again. I was doing it pretty regularly before I was pregnant with Eden. It's really not that hard. Of course that's easy to say the day you're not fasting. I need God to equip me for the near future and teach me patience all the time. I also would like to see break through with our house. And my little prayers with the kids and night time prayer with Joel is great, but I want to take it up a notch. If anyone else would like to join me (for my cause or for yours) let me know, I'd love to have others join me and we can suffer, I mean, learn together.
There's a Trader Joe's here in the ATL! It's not near my house at all, but you know our little fam will be taking a trip, as soon as they get thier liquor license. Here we come Charles Shaw! Oh, and I do want summore lavender dryer pouches. Mmmmm.
Posted by katiek at 6:14 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 22, 2006
New Chapters
This weekend has a little bittersweet as I went to Legacy Festival and saw the tents that weren't mine. I must say that no matter how little traffic or few artists are there I will always want to get down and dirty in the art fest scene. It really is a fun experience and a rush to talk about your art and see people who would normally never step into an art gallery check out your work and want to ask you questions. You're approachable because your wearing your hoodie and jeans and your drinking the same coffee and standing on the same parking lot grounds talking about art with Joe on the street. I just participated in the Patron Show this year which had excellent art in my opinion. Most of it was better than the festival work itself. But the Fest and the Art show had different money awards. If I had been aware of that I might have tried to be in the fest anyway. I was very confused this year, misreading things, not asking my questions on time. Whatever. We all want to have the most perfect experience ever especially when a babysitter is employed. I missed out on the 'opening' for the Patron Show because it was called "the Patron Party" and said tickets were $80 for a couple. I just am not familiar enough with art openings to realize that some art openings cost $80! Again, whatever. They had a new director this year so info was fuzzy.
We spent a good part of yesterday there and we ran into my friend from school, Brea, her son Logan (who had fun with Joel, Jos and Eden at the fire engine), her boyfriend Sean who built Brea's frames for inside the tent. She has been working a really nice dark city scene thing. Comfortably messy and streaky. It satisfies your desire to see thick paint globbiness. We hung out with her quite a bit at the after fest party last night and talked about art and potty-training (the story of my life). She showered me with compliments and stroked my ego sufficiently saying I was awesome. Yeah. I am very glad to see her working so much. She's an art ed major and has really found her groove.
Best of Show went to Georgia Rowswell for her amazing paper piece Bamboo Curtain. She's got a whole Kelloggian theme but acheives it with paper. So pretty! Her framed pieces look like oil paintings. She had some pieces in her tent that I went to look closely at because of the Eden portrait I just finished. It looked like leaf stenciling. Of course I have no picture. Of course. But when I got up to it I noticed it was paper. Wicked man. Georgia had been there the past few years I just never had time to check out her stuff very well.
Just wanted to share these. For the bizarre factor only. This dude brought these two pieces in in pieces! He had them both stuffed in his Honda Accord! He assembled them on site. Man, I'm glad that's not me, I got the Prev!
The Words I'm Eating:
For all those folks throughout my life that asked me/told me I should teach art I'm thinking of taking the plunge. I probably wont go to school for this right now, but I will start reading and researching how to teach older children and teens. My friend Jenny English asked me if I could teach her oldest daughter Cara a little to prepare her for portfolio stuff, possibly art school. The Englishes have home schooled all 6 of their children and Joel and I have seen them grow since Cara was around 10 years old. I've found very little on high school portfolio's but I have found some good books just to wet my whistle a bit. Just cuz you can do it doesn't mean that you can teach it. I want to be able to though. Teaching independant courses sounds really nice. Especially when we will be in the ever so connected Chatt-town for a 5 year period. It's important for me to know kids have a well rounded art education. If I can help the home school circut that'd be awesome.
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October 10, 2006
At the Mercy
When events revolve around me it takes a while to let it wash off of me and get back into the real world. For me the real world was just paused while I had a fine arts vacation, all about me. My Prev, oh the Prev, won't pass the emissions test. Man, I wish I lived in like Bumble County so I didn't have to worry about this thing! I do care about the earth, I promise, I shop at thrift stores, RECYCLE! But the run-around for my van ugh. These are the bleah things that makes days kinda irritating. I am so thankful though, I mean I sold a painting that will pay for my car to be fixed. Thanks Lord! He knew how much it would cost. A couple more drives out to Chamblee will hopefully be the end of it.
The Meineke in Hiram had no idea how to fix the Prev's exhaust problem. It's just funny to hear the dude on the other end go, "Well Ma'am, we just can't get the computer to scan to find out what's wrong. We don't really know..." HA! Ok, I'll take it to Chamblee. Got it home and the hood was smoking a tad. Hmmmm, Joel checked it out. He got worried and decided we shouldn't drive it and call Toyo-techs. I called them after driving Joel to work and getting pulled over and ticketed for Joel's out of date plates that he never gets pulled over for and believed that cops didn't pull you over for that kinda stuff. Yeah, he got an ear-full from me all sobbing and pissed off. yeah.
At least Josiah thought it was cool. I had to break it to him that getting pulled over by the cops isn't a good thing. Poor guy, Santa doesn't exist either Jos.
But are favorite aisle in our favorite store always delivers great joy. And our friends from the library always wash away all gloom. Thankfulness all around.
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September 25, 2006
seeing in the dark
These lovely birds were at the North GA State Fair. We had to stroll the stroller past all the rides and huge stoopid stuffed animals to find real living animals to pet and feed and generally be thankful for how creative God is. Camels and emus can't help but make you laugh and think that God must be a pretty funny guy to hang out with.
On Thursday afternoon, after our weekly High we went to Chattanooga because I was going to interview Friday morning for the gallery assistant job at AVA. The interview went well. My strengths were strong and my weaknesses well, they're week. I told them that if they wanted to hire me I would do whatever I could to be at work....tommorow if they need me (gulp). I know that sounds crazy. I mean, Kate are you going to commute to Chattanooga every day? And who will watch your children while you are at your at your part time job? It sounds crazy to me to. But I thought it through and what is faith? Is faith seeing the add for the job and just sitting back and hoping everything lines up for you to even apply for the job? Or is faith applying for the job, getting an interview and then getting the call to come in and then believing that God will guide hearts and circumstances to work it's way out. This job is the one I've been wanting my whole working career. Now I have two beautiful kids an I hate to think of someone else parenting them all day long just so I can have my prance throught the cool working artists realm. How can I ignore it though? For the past 5 years I've become more and more aware of God's purpose for me in the artworld, and if He wants me to have this job I have to take each step across this raging river one stone at a time. If they call and I have no answer for how I will relocate, maybe I will have to turn them down. If they really want me than we will make it work? God has done much bigger things than this. Even though I am full of doubt and (yes I admit it) fear, I have to believe that each step is worth it.
Then Joel read this last night. So Allied Arts is paying artists to move to Chattanooga. They pay relocation costs? They pay you 15K? They're cool with part-time working artists? It just kept sounding better. So will I read through this application and fill it out? Why yes!! Joel's mindset is "Hmmmm, does this program work other places??"
One of my first thoughts is, "I'm not good enough, they'll see through my artwork and decide it's not great enough to give me all these benefits." My second thought is,"This process will take forever and they won't be ready to set me up in the program for 6months or longer." These are the thoughts that address my faith.
We've been going to Trinity Vineyard these past few weeks and feel really good there. Kris McDaniel speaks with great understanding and cultural relevance, relevance to Atlanta! Most importantly he speaks from the Bible and speaks truth. It's challenging. He's been going through Mark and yesterday he spoke on the blind man of Bethsaida. At first Jesus touches his eyes and he doesn't see clearly, then Jesus touches him again an he has 100% of his vision. I want to see clearly who Jesus is in every place in my life whether it's bright or dark. I need to trust Him and try every opportunity. Fear has been rearing it's ugly head, and the way to fight it is to keep working and leaping in faith. I can't say I'm not nervous, stressed and sleepless sometimes. Right now I'm dog-sick. But I have to keep working. I have to speak positivity into my family, especially when talking with Joel. He needs a boost everyday.
If you think of us pray that we will have continued stamina. That God will sell our house in less than a month (we shoot high first!!). That God will provide the perfect job for Joel. That I will be able to breathe and talk soon. It's hard to scold when your voice is gone. There only so much scary glaring you can do. Thank you my friends!!
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