January 28, 2008

Sometimes Grey is beautiful

Maybe someday I'll get a picture of my other art classes, but until then I'll show you a picture of last semester where I had 4 students in a third and fourth grade class. They had to draw just the tape around their fellow student, the warm up drawing were very fun to see. The model here is Abigail who is very articulate for a 3rd grader and she is probably the closest to how I relate to my own children. I love to hear her talk about all her imaginings and the stories she tells with them. My other elementary students are somewhat overwhelmed with pop-culture, gender roles, and perfection. "Mrs. Katie, I just can't get this to look right." "Mine looks terrible!" "Can I start over?" "Mrs. Nutson, can I finish this at home?" "Do I have to color it in" "I wasn't sure if this is what you wanted". Sometimes it's really hard to hear them fight their longing to become better. Sometimes I wish they could just embrace the fact that they are children, and that they have so much time to learn and grow and experience these projects over and over again. I feel like I bore them sometimes and they want to take on more. Am I treating them like they are too young to do these things? Then I ask them to feel, to think, to practice, to work and I don't think I'm being too easy on them anymore. Abigail is a bright star in my class. She's not the only one, there are many talented kids in my class. Abigail always says, "Mrs. Knutson (she's says my name right), thank you for teaching me" and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy almost every time. She makes me stop and forget the chaos of the other 14 students, and realize that I am doing something great for these students. I get many thank yous, but Abigail is so consistant in her thankfulness. She is my inspiration as I think of what I need to say thank-you for.

I am thankful that I have comissions to work on. I am thankful that I have a great babysitter who is loyal and joyful and packs up my kids to go home almost better than I packed them to meet her. I am thankful for a great teacher's aide who will be a great teacher, artist, worker, mother (perhaps) someday. Marie, my teacher's aide, holds onto the rules I have set and echos me when appropriate to the students she is helping. She sets up for me so I can eat (such a guilty pleasure it seems). She cleans up while I greet my eager-to-see-Mama children so I can wipe noses, give hugs and talk to parents. She feels the warmth when Abigail says "thank you for teaching me". I am so blessed to be teaching art. It really makes me wonder why I was so scared to do it before. The group that I am teaching welcomes me and my little family with open arms. It feels so wonderful to be so liked and supported. I know that we are all human and selfish and relationships can go astray, but the Kingdom of God is a body that is working toward redemption. The fact that I know the second I introduce new people and new experiences to the students (and parents) that they will trust me and be glad that I am pushing them into a place that God has lead me too.

I am thankful that I can help. That I can offer someone time, goods, prayers and meals. That is a joy that only comes when you can give. In this thankfulness, I forget the short-comings of my life. I forget the frustration of not knowing how to decorate my home or clean my home as well as others. I forget that I wish I had a better TV, DVD player, stereo etc. I forget about the money I don't have and instead I am overcome with thanks for the little bits I can earn for my family and trust that we will always have enough. I forget the stress of children who disobey, and look forward to their growth and our families growth together. I forget that I covet and envy and instead I repent and give thanks that God blesses us.

On this grey day I come home tired from teaching, but I take this time for myself to absorb the joy of teaching. I have much to do this week. Josiah's birthday party (along with 3 other special boys) will be my top priority. Just how many cupcakes do I need to make? I will try to carry this joy a little longer and rest in the fact that Jesus loves me so much.

Posted by at 5:32 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 1, 2007

Dynamic

I took the leap this week and decided to give my students an opportunity to draw with charcoal. With the plan in my mind the difficulty was implementing a small classroom with up to 15 students. Ugh. I've been putting off the messy stuff because that's what it is, messy. But what I discovered is that the reward was so worth it. It took me twice as long to set up the room, I had to buy wipes, and kleenex, I had to get out three different sets of paper. I had to lug still life objects that would be hard, but not too hard from home to school. And I had to be a nazi about when they could start.

My high schoolers eyes lit up with joy (and fright) at the mess they were about to make. The personalities started to show through. The talented control freak, the joyful learner, the over-thinker hard worker, the fearful and insecure, and the black-sheep that has a little secret (he's got a style all his own). Faces that came in yawning left after an hour and half with fingers black with work. And I, their teacher felt 18 again, that Art Room feeling, you don't ever want to leave, "Let's just make some more stuff!!" Now I know how much stuff costs and I hope we have enough paper for the whole day.

My little class of 3 grade girls chats about the neighbors cats and dogs and talks about the boy, Carter, who is missing from class. These girls are 8 years old and they are sitting around talking about THE BOY. I am in awe. They create beautiful tigerlillies and I sit and listen to their simple joys. One of my highshoolers came in to return something for me and he stops to chat with the little girls and complimented them on their flowers. It's amazing to watch these little girls melt with crushes over the 17 year old boy who pays them the littlest bit of attention. Again, they're 8! I say crushes, but really, it's just that their body language changed and they're unstoppable chatter became giggly silence once Reid entered. What a trip.

Then there's my class of 15. I shoo the early birds out so I can make sure I have time to clean up and replace scrap paper. But God gave me grace to let go of the stress and grapple the chaos with joy. After my 3rd graders left, I let a brood of 5th graders bumble in, thankfully they were kind and left their monster bags in the hallway (they'll be the death of me yet!). I asked them to please not touch the charcoal until we're ready. They did their exersizes well and I am overcome with hope as I see some of them improve not only their attitude, but their technique! I am learning to love these personalities, and help them understand concepts that are forever old. The charcoal is a hit and they coat their hands with it. Dutifully they return to class after washing hands to get their homework pages. One of the 4th graders stays behind, tardy for Drama and she chats with me and helps me clean up. And what a clean up it was. I am greeted by my two happy children who see the bowl of fruit that the students have been drawing. Eden exclaims, MAMA! MAPPLE! Yes Eden, you can have an apple. Josiah and Eden eat the still life. It was a great day at school.

Posted by at 10:09 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 16, 2007

We're Surrounded!!

I have been giving my elementary classes some warm ups before we start our assignment for the day. I found a great book of doodles at the bookstore, but unless I wanted to break the law or get in a lengthy issue with a publisher I couldn't duplicate the images in the book. But I could draw my own. So after a weekend of art shows I sat up til 1am recreating these doodles. I created several, but the "We're Surrounded" had the best results. I mean, Bride of Frankenstein!!

Oh no! A Seamonster!

Eeeek! Alien Robots!

Argh! More evil robots!

My 4th, 5th and 6th graders may ask me the same question a million times, but they sure delight me. There were some beautiful lion drawings last week too, now if I could only locate the 8 missing Prismacolor markers.

Posted by at 11:27 PM | TrackBack

April 9, 2006

Lets Catch Up

For those of you that are dying of curiosity about what happened when I actually went back to the High with my kids to see the Chuck Close show, here ya go. I went to the front desk to check in and I told the folks there what had happened to me. Their eyes got kinda wide as I told them "I was escorted out". "were they loud?" They asked "Not any more than they are right now." But to make a long story short, they were perplexed as to why I was shown the door, except that I mentioned Chuck was being interviewed. Then they seemed to know all "That must be why! they wanted to keep you from running into Chuck being interviewed" then I said "Uh, well I walked right past him and it was a full 10 min later that I was asked to leave" They still seemed kinda confused, and welcomed me to see the exhibit, which I did. I wanted to emphasize to the folks at the desk that I was very embarassed and I didn't want that to happen again!

But yes, the exhibit was very cool. I kept a death grip on Josiah's hand and talked with him about the art the whole time to keep him occupied. I told him that the man in the picture's name was Chuck, so at every painting we saw we said "Hi Chuck!" The large portraits that they have on all the promo material was very impressive, I mean, very cool. I've seen some of his work up close before but these were beautiful. I then realized that even though I do not do large portraits of myself, I use Chuck's style with color, shapes and lines. I felt that bond with his work and if I had both hands free, I would have moved more freely and gotten as close to the work as the guards would let me. Traced his brushstrokes with my finger and taken more mental notes of his color combos. I loved the purples, I don't remember noticeing the purples before. Chuck made holograms of his face that you can only see at an adult's eye level. Josiah, along with the other couple kids that were in that exhibit couldn't see it. I lifted Josiah up to show him and said "Boo! Hi Chuck!" He thought it was hilarious! We had to do it over and over. The guards looked restless and so was Eden. It was a nice time and we enjoyed an activity with others coloring in simple imitations of Chuck's face.

The last painting class I went to we had a discussion about professional portfolios. I brought my book because I thought it would finally be a good opportunity to show Robert my work and get feedback. It was definately an ego stroking experience. I have a good 7 years on some of these students worth of work. Robert said I had "a kick ass web site" well I dunno about that, but thanks! I got the "wow, you have alot of work!" and "your work has great continuity" and of course being artists themselves, they liked my nudes and my painting style. He used my book as an example, along with his little buddy's book to show similarities and differences. His buddy wants to get to grad school. Me, not so much. All this to say I had some wonderful dialogue with my classmates about what to do for images and where I get my subject matter. I like this because it gives me an opportunity to bring light to such a wierd and twisted way of communicating with art. I believe in communicating beauty and hope even with non-perfect images. I quick popped Robert an email about Atlanta galleries and I look forward to having a discussion with him about which galleries to persue. Please check out my website as I will be adding a works in progress gallery, new, better images and updates on shows.

Posted by at 7:41 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 13, 2006

The Freezing Artist

This is the progress on Metro II. It's supposed to be blurry, and it's just not right now. I will have to let the paint dry and blur it when the structure of the image is a bit more permanent.

Here's a happy note: My Brown Cows are going to be published in the Sows Ear Poetry Review! I'll let you know when it's out!

Why oh why is the weather so cold the moment I get my groove on for painting? I remember freezing in Jeff's shop when I created my first great run of post-scholastic art. literally wearing those fingerless mittens to get through the evening. In my garage there is one outlet. it is across the room from my easel. I need an extension cord so I can have a good light. Unfortunately I have chosen my light over my warmth. I was painting for 2 hours last night and when I finally came in ohmanitwassoooooooocoldbluuuuuurrrrrr. I have a new large piece I want to start so bad, but it's too cold, waaaaay too cold. I get the gumption tonight since I bought an adapter thing so my heater can get plugged in now. *grin* warmth. It makes Santa Barbara seem really nice.

But ART, let me tell you, Joel was itchin' to get out of the house this Saturday sice he's been tied up to his books the past couple. We went to a few galleries around town having activities for kids. The first was practically over and was a mad-house of "washable" tempra paint. The second, we missed entirely. The third had a cool kaleidescope for the kids to make. It was great while it lasted. Joel let Josiah take it to his nap with him and now it's in a million pieces all in the carpet. Joel spoiled our whole family and we went across the street to the Thai restaurant for lunch. Yuuummm.

Josiah slurped down the Coconut milk soup and had a good time hamming it up with the host. But in between all the kid activities I got to actually look at some art! Wonder of wonders. I am terrible at researching, studying and knowing about current art in my area or anywhere for that matter. Going to the High every Thursday has made me a bit more connected. So we snatched up the latest Atlanta Gallery Association Mag for their ATLart[06] event at the Aliya Linstrum Gallery which had some pretty colorful landscapes done with pastels on suede. Kinda Cool. The Twinhouse Gallery had a beautiful show by Mr. and Mrs Hollingsworth. Joel thought their work was boring, but I thought it was classic. Still life of empty paper bags. Very beautiful in it's simplicity. I call it Pottery Barn art. Trinity Gallery though had a kick butt show by Bryce Hammond.

He's an old school graffiti artist in the line of Basquiat but has moved further into painting. His masked lines, text written with marker, spray paint, and the end of his brush throughout is lovely. And his subject matter was awesome too. Joel was so kind to let me cruise through there. It made me feel awesome about what I have been doing for the past 2 years with my art. And it challenges me to take it up a notch in clarity, drawing skills, and researched symbolism. I wish I could've bought one on the spot. There were some for under $800. Hah! I long for the day I can just buy art.

Ari M was so kind and lovely as to come to my aid on Friday and watch my precious snot-faces for a few hours while I joined my art class. I showed the progress I had made on the two Metro pieces and everyone, including Robert, responded very well. Robert was pleased because no one paints like I do in that class. I guess KSU just doesn't produce that many good abstract painters. I got alot of questions which is always nice. And some notes too. It's just funny because there is very little left for me to be taught as far as my personal style. I think that's what being 29 and getting my undergrad means. I've been producing without a professor and now that I have one, I want to talk to him as a peer. I guess that's alright. After my first meeting with him where he was a little abrupt with me, I vented, and then decided that I was just going to paint whatever the hay I wanted too. So as I diligently work my fingers frozen and my hands painfully dry, I know that I am doing it. I am doing what I am put here to do. Not to make stuffies, not to make cards, not to make my daughter cute felty shoes even. But to become a fine artist, a painter, one who galleries will desire. Cheers.

Posted by at 4:55 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

January 13, 2006

Audible Sigh, says I

Today was my first class, or so I thought. It turns out I missed class last week. And that's kinda Joel's fault, he was the one that thought classes did start yet. Mom comes down to watch the kids while I go to class, one of the only classes I think I'll have to go to. When I get there everyone else knows what's going on except me. I hate hate hate that feeling. We decided a theme for the end of semester show at Pangaea. The independant students (that's me) handed in proposals. Yikes, I don't have one. On top of this I got there late. I didn't get a syllabus. My fault, I should have scooted as soon as Mom showed up. After I saw all my classmates turning in proposals I freaked. I realized I have no idea what I want to do. I know I want to experiment with assembledge and I want to get back into oils but other than that I have no concepts, no deep inner longings with which to portray. I'm screwed. Yeah, I know I'm being a bit fatalistic but sometimes I can't shake the feeling when I'm in that classroom that I do not belong there. That I have 2 children at home and what am I thinking trying to be a student too.

I know some of you all have asked me how I do it all, the thing is, I don't do it all.

Continue reading "Audible Sigh, says I"

Posted by at 9:01 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

October 25, 2005

Snail's Pace

Announcement: The Pods are up on Etsy!!

After all the hubub is over I find myself compulsively checking my email and such for new things, new tasks, when I know what is ahead for me. I guess after a rush like I've had the past 2 weeks I don't want it to slow into mommie land again. Especially since presently, and until major workage is done, we have one car. The smallest car. Yes, the car we bought for $900 is the one gettin us around. I feel a bit strange. I pull up to the library or the playground and all the other moms with one kid have 8 passenger cars and here I am lugging 2 kids out of a 4 1/2 passenger car. I am not complaining. These days when we have stayed home have been really nice. I am stretched to find ways to interact with Josiah that is out of our norm. Finding things that he loves to do that he didn't know he loved to do. Making things, coloring things, throwing, tickling, singing and most of all hugging. I have a hugging relationship with my son. May it continue through til I die.

The crazy thing is I do have things to do. I have to paint 8 plus watercolor studies of clouds, rain, fog, and reflections. I also have a not so normal art history prof who pulls random paper assignments out of the air and I never can seem to get them done on time. Lord help me. Tonight, I will paint rain and fog I guess. I am really turned on by things I have experienced and seen and learned lately. The phenomenon of Pods makes my brain tick. I want to paint more and more of them. Big ones, 3D ones, all kids of experiments come to mind. My greatest idea was to make Eden's quilt be a POD quilt! Man, that sounds awesome. I wanna give those craftsy quilty mom's a run for their money! Eat my Dust! If only my brain images could run like a flickr slideshow all would be so much clearer.

I watched a couple films in Art Survey that got me charged. For one, I never knew it before, but I think I love Jasper Johns.

He uses stencils in so many of his works and they are funky and muddy and great. His brush strokes and layers are exactly what I love. I think I would want to stand three inches from the surface of his painting and just look at the texture because that would be the best part. His Numbers are my favorite. I also love the targets. He is most famous for his Flag, but that's just cool because of the process with which he painted it. He and Rauschenburg have my attention. Back in the day, my day, at Chatty State, Mike Holsomback talked about Rauschenburg and how he was a great influence on him.

I understand why now. I mean these artists lived in very different circumstances than me or Mike Holsomback for that reason. They were in NYC, also at Black Mountain College with John Cage. And they were gay. They were riding the wave of the Dada's and Duchamp. I am appreciating these random symbol paintings and strange pieces with birds attached. I felt inspired by Johns as I painted "Be Still" There are muddy stencils throughout, especially down the right side. I hope I get to see it again. I'm still in love with it.

Posted by at 5:20 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 28, 2005

Moo

This is what I'm turning in today for my watercolor class. This is a terrible scan! I see the flaws, and I will not expect an A, but if I get a unexplained B I'll be upset. I think I figured out alot in this assignment. But one thing I don't know, I don't know what kinda cows they are.

I used a sponge to get the funky spotted places on the big cow's face and the crusty dirt on his horn. It was fun trying new objects. One thing I really wanted to try was salt. I played with it, but it wasn't predictable enough for this project. So wish the cows luck as they are critiqued tonight. I hope my prof doesn't vount off too much for poor drawing! sheesh...

Posted by at 9:11 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

September 15, 2005

Take a Walk Around

After another watercolor class I still feel that it is very difficult. The girl who sits next to me is a very clean painter, her exercises are impecable, pretty, clean. I never was taught to be a clean painter. I guess my po-dunk little community college didn't arrange to produce really accomplished painters even though I think my teacher was excellent, he probably wasn't told to push his students to the lengths that university students are. I mean my classes now are twice as long. Twice as many credits. And what I am also experiencing, is that as a transfer student, if my courses tranfer and are equivalent, I am not expected to repeat them. My photo class all those years ago was laughable considering what actual art departments teach*. I am now discovering that not only did I take these classes almost 10 years ago, but they were inferior. Joel kinda thought it would be cool if I could enroll at the SCAD chapter here in ATL, but the thing is I think I would totally sink. My assignments were less challenging, and not meant to progress any further than a 2 year degree. Or perhaps the TN system of education is easier than the GA system. That's kinda hard for me to believe, but perhaps. I mean UGA has a notable program, where I don't hear many great things about UTC's programs. That's why I never went to UTC. That's why Chatt State was referred to me because it was a compatable program and it cost a heckuva lot less. I mean less than 600 a semester. Like I said before, I'm having to re-learn a lot of what I have come to understand all by my uneducated self. I am realizing I might just have to be satisfied with making a B or possibly less in this class. What also scares me is the fact I feel that I've bitten off more than I can chew. As I'm sure some of you other parent/students can attest. I have finished my projects and papers literally a half hour before I have to leave for school. Joel said the other night, he doesn't know if our family can handle me going full time. If he goes full time that means him being gone every night. That seems difficult for me right now. None of his classes are during business hours because most people in the classes are working adults, where as my classes are all during the day, and at some point, I will need to take a 9:30am course, or a 12:30pm course. Heck, even a 3pm course. This is not possible if Joel wants to work and go to school full time and study. It isn't practical for me to be the one going full time and him not because his degree will immediatey improve our famliy's quality of life. And I, being the normal sacrificial wife, do not need to press the issue of me going full time.

Congratulations! You are Lynette Scavo, the
ex-career woman who traded the boardroom for
boredom, mixed with moments of sheer panic as
the mother of four unmanageable kids.


Which Desperate Housewife are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm pooped as it is. I am not a "I deserve this BFA dregree" sorta woman. I do want to do God's will for my artistic career and more importantly God's will for our family. If this means getting a B instead of an A that's OK, but this class is a serious ego bruiser. Here I have an art show in October, and I am sweating this watercolor class the whole time. Feeling my prof breathing down my neck going, What does she think she's doing here?

On the flip side. As I was feeling all these terrible things last night, I forced myself to get up and walk around the room. I had to see if I was the only one not getting it.

*I took photography at Covenant College before they had an art major or a college level photography teacher. I'm sure my photo teacher is great with kids but...

Continue reading "Take a Walk Around"

Posted by at 3:46 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 31, 2005

Pant, pant, pant

It's becoming a regular thing for me to sit down at 3pm for lunch. Ugh. What's that about? But I must say it's worth it. Shouldn't food be a pleasant relaxing reward sometimes? Just fast periodically and you'll see. Or go on a diet. Now my PBH, yogurt and tea is so much better!!

It's the last Wednesday of the month. You know what that means? Thrifting!! Value Village has 50% off day the last Wed of every month. They tag a big "1/2 Off" sign out of junk fliers on their monsterous windows and scavengers of many types (yours truly is included) come to race for the best deal and the best check out line. Thrifting has become a little challenging with 2 bebe's but I crave a deal, and I find one every time.

Josiah and Eden are getting dedicated on Sunday. So if your not Presbyterian, this is the next best thing to a baptism...minus the water. In no way do I think I should froo-froo up my kids for this event, but I do want us to look nice-ER. Josiah needed a dressier shirt. The little weed that he is, Josiah just grows up these days and needs longer shirts and pants every 2 months it seems. Thank goodness for summer, his shorts aren't a problem this way. I literally was picking out size 5 shirts for my 2 1/2 year old. How big is Josiah? Soooo Big!! I found some nice button down shirts and one retro Health-Tex shirt that I really hope is long enough. It rules. I also found a couple little black dresses for myself. I'm hoping I will use them for art show openings between now and the New Year. 5 shirts for Josiah, 2 dresses for me and a skirt grand total $17. And this is the expensive, nice clothes thrift store. This is where I got all my maternity clothes, and some of Jeanette's and a shirt for Sarah.

Farewell, My Sweet Vessel. May you find a happy home with Michelle, Eric and little Jack Carter Duncan. I have found that I am not sad anymore when I send off my work. There is a small tinge when I cover it with paper that I won't probably touch the canvas again, but it's OK. My work, thusfar, has gone to very happy homes that I might possibly visit. I'm glad you all love it, I still have lots of it in my garage (hint, hint).

Here are the Modbirds that Cat gave my kids. They wanted to say hello.

"Hello"

Here are my sad sad watercolor attempts. Although, I was working last night on my value scales and the swatches were looking smoother. I'm going to have to shut my trap and concentrate in class. I'll do much better. But it's just so fun to talk to BSing college kids. They have so much to learn. And I don't mean watercolors, heck, they're better than me. Out of a class of 18 students only like 5 or 6 of us don't smoke. That includes the prof. I talked to another non-smoker and she said Yeah I'm thinking about taking it up just so I have a reason to be outside! I just mocked them by holding my two fingers in the smokers pose while chatting. My fellow classmate/fellow mommy, Brea, thought that was funny. I'm being good, it'd be so easy to slip back into that. But when my breastfed baby barfs as soon as I got home on Monday that pretty much reminded me that I have to be good.

Posted by at 4:15 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack